While following a link from Pandagon about the White Supremacist version of the Olson Twins I came across another story about so-called "Helicopter Moms" (presumably, they hover).
This story bothers me for two reasons. First, as an educator, I see a further trend toward the continued lack of responsibility on the part of college students as a very bad thing.
But Gail Fagan, Heather's mom, said she'll do it as long as she's needed. And that's a sentiment Lewis would agree with. She'll do as much as she can for as long as she can. She currently drives two hours to Ethan's dorm to clean it up, do his dishes and pick up his laundry twice a month.
In addition to the general independence problems (mentioned in the article) I wonder about whether or not the "as much as she can for as long as she can" applies to schoolwork. It is easy to speculate that at least typing and editing are part of the "secretary" duties. At the high school level there is a not-so-fine line between parental involvement and parental work on homework. The problem of over-involved parents is becoming particularly evident with college admissions essays. I've encountered students whose parents "helped" them with essays to the point that they didn't really know what they were supposed to have written because the parent did most of it.
The article mentions helicopter parents but I am skeptical. I've encountered helicopters, and the moms outnumber the dads five-to-one. My experience also tells me that this is a phenomenon closely related to social class (do a web search on SAHMs and SAHDs, or even follow up on the discussion we had here about that ridiculous NYT story). So, what are these young adults learning from the example of their helicopter moms? That she's there to serve, to wait on them, to be their secretary.
Brendan, a freshman at Arizona State University, also appreciates his mom's help. "It's nice to have someone else who kind of serves as a secretary mom."
"She's like the most selfless person on the face of the planet. I mean, she will give and give and give and give and give, and when she's got nothing left to give she'll keep giving. She has succeeded in every aspect of giving my brother and I everything a kid can ask for," Ethan said.
They are going to be in for a rude awakening when they hit the "real world" of work.
Eric Chester, president of the training and consulting company Generation Why, Inc., sees this high level of parental involvement as a high-level problem for employers, who face a new generation of workers.
"If you've always micromanaged their life, then that kid is going to be dysfunctional in the workplace, regardless of what their skill set is," he said.
Dysfunctional in the workplace. And in relationships? The one mother mentions how she hopes she can be "best friends" with her child's wife.
"When they get married, I'm not going to be the most important person there, and I know that," she said. "You go through a period of withdrawal, and then hopefully, you get to be best friends with their wife. And you have a good relationship, and then she'll call you and tell you what he's doing."
Lady, she's not going to be your best friend when she finds out you've raised up a lazy fucker in the self-maintenance department. Plus, with the economy going the way it has been, chances aren't good that she'll have the luxury of staying at home to continue junior's quality of care.
Posted by binky at October 22, 2005 06:41 PM | TrackBack | Posted to Culture | The Academy