Bloodless Coup

Our Senior Senator

While in DC this week, the free Washington Post the hotel delivered to my room brought me this gem:

But best-in-show honors went to Byrd, who, in a statement notable for its breadth, explained why his eyes had been closed ("I have what is called dry eyes") and why he has tremors in his hand ("I'm not scared or anything"), noted his friendship with the late Chicago mayor Richard Daley, mentioned his 49 years in the Senate, called himself "Popeye the Sailor Man," and demanded the witnesses be sworn in, even though the hearing had been going on for nearly an hour.

Byrd even brought some dog doggerel for the occasion. "A poem that has always meant so much to me begins with this stanza, 'All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small, all things wise and wonderful, the lord God made them all,' " he said.

After the verse, he devoted the next quarter of an hour discussing his Shih Tzu. "There is a unique, special relationship between pets, like my little dog," he said. "She is a Shih Tzu. They were lap dogs. They were trained to be lap dogs in the palace in Tibet, China."

The senator was just beginning. "Dogs -- I could talk a lot about dogs. I can tell you about great dogs in history. Truman, Harry Truman, former president, said, 'If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.' Or buy a dog. But I have a dog. Her name, by my wife Erma, is Trouble. Now, I call her Baby."

Muffled laughter rose from the audience; senators on the panel struggled to maintain their composure. Byrd became aware that he was spending too much time on his Shih Tzu. "This is not for a show. I don't often do this. I'm interested in a little dog," he explained.

"Prone to meandering..." wow.