hippie myths and facts

Hippie Myths

1. All hippies are cool

When you have to shout at people at 6:30 in the morning “I’m the coolest person in the world!!!” after everyone around you watched the headliners finish at 3:30 and the late night band start at 4ish, you are not cool. Likewise, when you accuse your friends of stealing your “stuff” that you likely misplaced in an incoherent haze not long before. Not cool at all.

2. All hippies respect the community

Except for the genius who set off fireworks at 7:25 am and shouted: THIS IS YOUR 7:30 FUCKING WAKE UP CALL!!!

3. All hippies share

NAFTA has nothing on the hippie economy. There was more profit-generating capitalism going on than an outlet mall. And I’m not just talking about cash for “tasty home-baked goodies” or “festive balloons.”

4. All hippies love nature

Except for those leaving trash all along the road on the approach to the festival, including a) the person who dropped a whole trash bag full of beer cans in the middle of the road and b) the second genius who instead of picking them up, kicked them into the ditch. However there were many young males who were so concerned about the plants o the side of the road, they “watered” them every 20 minutes or so.

5. All hippies are good at festival camping

Overheard hours after daylight broke, and several after the end of the show “Dude, we just got back now. We were so lost!”

6. Hippies like jam band music

Maybe it was just the drugs, but there was a lot of not-paying-attention-to-the-bands happening.

Hippie Facts

1. Hippies love you man!

Including the woman staring at me dreamily in the middle of the road at 4:30 am. She thinks I’m great!

2. Patchouli smells awesome

Especially when no one (including yourself) has been able to get much of a bath for three days. That shit is like liquid gold!

3. Hippies know how to groove to the music

And it really is cute when the little white girls with dreadlocks dance like someone is pulling their puppet strings.

4. Hippies come in all ages, shapes and sizes.

Even though there was strong representation from the upper middle class white college student crowd, there were lots of kids running around, and some greybeards getting groovy.

5. Hippies make and sell the cutest halter-tops ever.

And the blown-glass art objects are pretty too.

6. Hippies rock the hula hoop.

In multiples, no less. But most of the guys we saw should have given it up…the women were way better.

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